Blogs > Mark Black > Hijack!


15th December 2011

Hmm... well hello there.

It seems Mark Black is off this week but has left his blogging account open, how silly of him.  I'm the Sun FM Christmas tree:


Check me out eh... pretty fine-looking tree aren't I?  I came all the way from Thoburn's in Jacky White's and I've seen a few things in this office since then!  You might be finding it hard to read a post from a tree, what do I sound like?  Well as you're reading, imagine me talking in a Morgan Freeman voice.  That's right, you're doing it now... aren't you.  You've slowed down the speech in your mind and given it a rich, deep tone, hahaha.

It was Mark Black who decorated me actually, along with a bit of help from the Sun FM fairy Helen Rogers.  He wasn't gentle either, hands EVERYWHERE *shudder* I was glad when all that was over.

Lately, the one with the loud sucking machine that they call Tina The Cleaner has been talking about toilet rolls going missing.  I haven't seen anyone stealing them but the One With The Bald Head and Glasses always has a full looking bag with him when he leaves and seems to spend a lot of time in the toilet!  Although he does eat a lot of fruit.

I've become convinced that The Pretty Girl Who Reads The News is secretly an alien, spying on us.  She's started to communicate in a series of weird clicks (think Skippy the bush kangaroo) and although no one seems to understand her, they've started replying in clicks!  I think she may be using some kind of brainwashing technique but thankfully it doesn't seem to work on trees *click*.

I don't know what all the people in this office are supposed to be doing, but there is a lot of laughing that goes on, and the occasional elastic band war, which the One With The Silver Hair and Glasses seems to win quite often.

There are Some People Who Live Upstairs but some of them spend a lot of time outside.  I don't know what's out there, but it must be pretty exciting because they're alwaaaaays out there.  Sometimes they go in twos or threes so maybe it's a scary thing?  They always come back smelling like smoke so maybe there's fire involved?  I hope not, trees catch on fire very easily :(.

I don't think I've got long left to live you know... :( I heard One With The Silver Hair and Glasses talking about how when I died I'd be recycled by some people called the Council.  I looked up what this meant and maybe it's not so bad because apparently it means I'll be used again.  I hope I come back as something in this office, it's quite interesting living here.  I hope I don't come back as toilet roll though, not with One With The Bald Head and Glasses about!

Uh oh, I have to go now, I can hear the Blonde One That Talks A Lot coming back into the office.  Merry Christmas!

Posted by Mark Black at 10:04am

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